Inspiration

I know it sounds cliche.. but my husband truly does inspire me. 


I try to be a better person for him. Because of him I laugh louder, cry harder, I take pride in myself, what I am doing, and where I am in my life. I have learned to let go a little. I have started to accept that I can't control everything in my life. I dance more. I even walk around in his t-shirt, a tall pair of socks, and a glass of wine...because I can! And for these things I thank my husband.


He truly is a wonderful man... he is sometimes forgetful, lazy, and his little habits annoy me... but they are also the reasons I love him more than life itself. When I get lost he helps me find my center. When I get stressed he reminds me what is truly important in life. 


He lives everyday and every minute in the moment. He can just smile and my worries melt away.


For a man that has seen more evil in his lifetime than most individuals will ever see... he remains so upbeat. He remembers what it means to live.. He cherishes each breath that god has given him. 


He goes to bed every night saying that it was a good day... "no one died today... so its a good day" " and for the men that have died.. they give us a reason to live... not only for us, but for them." 


So thanks babe... I wish I could take all your ghosts away. = / but know that your love has given me a reason to be more, do more... I love you! 
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass..it's about learning how to dance in the rain

Sometimes it just worth the fight

So this week has been a pretty stressful one for me... thank god that the stress that I have been feeling has nothing to do with Andy and I. But for some reason we took this opportunity to discuss some things we can do better in our relationship. Andy and I are entering 1 year of marriage in a few months.


We of course have had our ups and downs. But the great thing about Andy and I's relationship is that we take every disagreement and use it to make what we have stronger.


The dynamic of my husbands and I's relationship is as follows
- I like to yell! I want to be pissed, I want to scream, and then I want to move on
-Andy likes to walk away... he doesn't want to yell, he doesn't want to deal with confrontation.. he wants to leave and come back and act like it never happened.


- you can see where we butt heads!! = ]


So in our discussion on our porch...we talked about ways that I can handle stress better. We discussed how he needs to learn that I can't just drop an argument. Because whether he likes to think so or not = ] I am not getting upset to just get upset..there is a reason.


- overall I think that we made a lot of progress this week. I think it takes a strong person to admit their flaws... own up to their mistakes... and it takes an even stronger couple to come out of an argument even stronger then before.


My advice: I used to be the person who during an argument wanted nothing more than to be right. I thought that if I could hold out the longest that I would prove my point. That as long as I didn't give in I could show that I was the strongest. [But the truth is its not about who is stronger or who can hold out the longest...the only thing that matters is making it right.]


Remember: the best things in life are worth fighting for.

The puzzle piece that just fits

It’s the best feeling in the world when he walks through our door and gives me the biggest hug… and that feeling is even more amazing in those desert cammies = ] It’s the pride, the time apart, the way he kisses my forehead… that makes me fall even more in love with him every time he comes home.

He’s like the puzzle piece that just fits.  

It’s the hardest feeling in the world to explain, but the easiest to feel. It truly is amazing to me that the butterflies I feel when he holds me have not yet faded. Of course we have our disagreements, our flaws, our moments when it would be easier to walk away… but at the same time what we have is worth fighting for. Any day, Everyday.

Sunday night, even though he was exhausted from no sleep; we spent the whole night just spending time together. We made an amazing dinner, grabbed a bottle of wine, lit a candle, and just talked out on our porch. When we finally drug our butts to bed we just laid there; my head on his chest, laughing and listening to the rain. At one point he started spinning my wedding ring. And then he simply stated that he still couldn’t believe that I am his wife. He just laid there holding my hand, smiling, and saying that, “this is our house, our life, our future”.

I admit that I am going to miss these weekends. It sounds crazy, I know…but once something has been apart of your life for so long, it’s hard to imagine life without it. We will still continue to just lay in bed and talk, we will still eat dinner on the porch… but now there is no more drill weekends, no more cammies, no more smelly boots in the doorway.

Don't take anything for granted.

This is going to be a short blog. Its Drill weekend…so while I am trying to stay busy with school and work. I never stop missing my husband. I hate not being able to talk to him everyday… but at least I know that he is safe and will return home to my arms in a week. While he is gone I think a lot about how my life would be without him…and easily put; I can’t truly imagine not being Andy’s wife.

I don’t pretend to be a saint… but I have learned that moments come and leave to fast in this world to let them pass you by. I have been reading MMT- a site that is all about inspiring acts of courage and sacrifice as well as moments of regret. I read one the other day that said, “Today I didn’t wake up to kiss her goodbye before she left for work for the last time.” Now I am sure that this man did not realize that he would never kiss his wife again. But I am sure that he will regret that morning for the rest of his life.

I believe this not just because I am a military wife. Yes when my husband is in a combat zone the risk of loosing him increases... but honestly anyone’s life can end at any time. You could get in a car accident; have a heart attack running down the street…any and every instant can matter. “Your time can occur at any time”. That is why I try to wake up every morning to walk my husband to the door. Because no matter how tired I am, no amount of sleep is worth loosing him. I make a point to say I love you as much as I can. I used to think that when you overuse that phrase it somewhat looses its meaning, but the truth is if you mean it every time you say it… then it will never become insignificant.

I love you babe. I promise.

Drill Weekend

So here I am at 1:00 am  sitting in my bed alone. This weekend is drill weekend which means my husband is owned by the Marine Corps for the time being. It still surprises me that even though we have built our relationship on distance, I still cannot sleep when he is not laying next to me. 


I thought that since I have nothing else to do that I would tell everyone about me and my life. I guess I am not sure what everyone says about being young and in love.. mostly because my family has always been supportive and I have never cared about anyone who jumped to put a label on my relationship. I always knew that the military would jump start my relationship. And I know it sounds crazy, but I truly did fall in Love with Andy within two weeks of knowing him. I didn't know I had the capability of giving myself completely to someone so quickly. It wasn't just his great smile, ability to make me forget everything bad in my life, or the way he opened the door for me. It was also the way he looked at me and the way he held my hand. It was the random dances in the middle of the street and the way he told me he loved me that made me want to be with him forever. 


So here I am... Married, young, and still completely in love. My life is sometimes crazy, unpredictable, and composed of nights alone in my house. But I wouldn't change what I have for the world. 


Goodnight everyone. Hope your not sleeping alone tonight. 

My story

My life, like any life, has its ups and downs. No one is perfect. Especially me. I get stressed to easily, I try to control things that are out of my control, and I tend to not forget as quickly as I forgive. However I am a loyal wife and friend, I try to support those around me, and most of all I am who I want to be. I may have flaws, but overall I am a person I can be proud of.

I just wanted to let everyone know that there will be some good days and some bad days. And you will most likely see both. I don’t know exactly where I am going with this blog. But I do know that I want to know more of people’s stories. Their struggles, their fears, their love… I am not so concerned with what individuals are doing or thinking at various moments of their day (like what facebook allows us to see). I am searching for meaning. So I will try my best to give you my story…


Disclaimer: While my daily life does not revolve around the military....most of my struggles, knowledge, and fears have come from those times where I had no other choice but to be strong and I was defined by being a Marine wife. I have gained a large group of girls who would have my back in a heartbeat. We truly are a family like no other. Therefore I will most likely write a lot about my feelings and any tidbits of advice that the military has left me with. 

Our story- Definition of us.

Andy and I met some time ago. At the time he was working at the same company my mom was. She would come home every day and tell me about this amazing guy whom I just had to meet. When I finally got the chance to get to meet him he stood across the room from me and said no more than three words. Come to find out he thought that I was too “stuck up” for him. Needless to say it was not love at first sight. A few days later my high school was having a big football game. Later, after the game had ended and I had dropped my friends off at home, I decided to give Andy a call. When he answered the phone he was with a friend at a bar. I must have been more of his type then he thought because he left the bar and met me at a pizza place just down the road. We got to talking, and I must have said the right thing because his friend decided to leave (later out finding they had a code word). This left me with Andy and only my car. Long story short we spent the night driving around town, having pickle races on the window of McDonalds, and messing up my car with confetti from some party poppers (that I still have wrapped around my mirror to this day).

It didn’t take long after that night for me to realize that I was completely head over heals in love with this guy. And not too long after that he left for our first deployment. Growing up I was always involved with long distance relationships. I knew that this deployment was going to be hard, but I also knew that our love could survive the distance. So with a message on my voicemail that said he loved me and would miss me and a note on an index card that said, “no matter how bad it gets no one can stop time; and that is one thing we will always have going for us” he left. Seven months, many restless nights, four phone calls, many letters, infinite pride, and a diary full of every good, bad, and tearful moment, later… he was home! And we were ready to start our life together.  

Andy and I try to live our life in the best way we know how. We have learned to not take for granted the time we have together. We have built our relationship on the promise of trust and commitment. We promised to always love one another. We promised to always return home to one another’s arms. We promised to keep each other close to one another’s heart… I do so by wearing his dog tags. And most of all we promised to be faithful… this promise we wear on our left hands.

         While Andy is my best friend and my hero, he is most importantly my husband. We have not let the Marine Corps define our life or our relationship. While I wear my dog tags, hundreds of marine t-shirts, and a survival bracelet with extreme pride, we have learned that life will go on after he leaves the Corps. I will always credit the deployments for making our love stronger. We will continue to fly the Marine flag with pride. I will always consider Andy and his fellow marines as my hero’s, and I will never get tired of hearing him called Cliff. However, I will not miss sleeping with my phone instead of him by my side. The USMC will always be a part of our lives. The great thing is that the marines will go on just fine without him…I will not.

-Taylor Cliff. Proud wife of a U.S. Marine! Semper Fi